LIMBO

My life feels like the game of limbo lately. There’s a frequent feeling of the bar being lowered to the ground. The challenge is increasing. There’s a questioning of whether we can clear the bar or if it is just too much and we’re going to brush against it despite all of our back arching efforts and get called “out” of the game.

When your husband is diagnosed with CANCER, your life changes. Forever. Even when the cancer is removed and a year of sickening treatment is completed, it is still there.

You can’t help it. You put on a brave face and focus on the positive. You pray for strength and courage. But it still lingers.

Although we moved beyond the fear in order to enjoy our lives, it comes back to say “hello” often. It is there when I scan my husband’s body each month. I’m not sure if I am more fearful of finding a spot or if I am more fearful of missing a spot. And although we move forward and forget at times, it is there when the six-month scans come along. And when my husband has to have a biopsy of a spot in the local region of the original tumor, the fear is there again to greet me…”I’m back. Did you miss me?”

So what to do in the face of this game of limbo?

We wait. We pray. We hope. We count our blessings. We keep on rolling along.