It is the never-ending battle… The Mommy War. You know what I’m talking about: stay-at-home moms judging working moms for putting their kids in day care vs. working moms snubbing stay-at-home moms as being less goal driven. I’m sure you’ve also heard condescending comments about dads choosing to stay home while the mom becomes the breadwinner. In this war, harsh words of criticism replace weapons. Wounds of the heart replace wounds of the flesh.
Isn’t it time to raise the white flag yet?
Back in our Grandmothers’ generation, it was simple. The wife dutifully stayed at home to raise the children while the husband worked to bring home the bacon. There was little choice in the matter. It was just the cultural norm at the time.
Our mothers' generation hammered their spatulas against the corporate brick wall resulting in breaking down gender role stereotypes in the work force. These revolutionary women traded their aprons for power suits and their house shoes for high heels. Bye-bye baby in arms… hello briefcase.
Viva la revolution!!!
Or not. It depends on whom you ask.
My college roomie and I laugh at ourselves now. We have completely shifted our ideals from our college days. She was adamant about staying home with her future children and I was all about being a working mom and having it “all.”
Go figure, she is the working mom and I am staying at home with my three boys. Neither of us would want to trade places. Instead of pointing fingers over which one of us made the “right” decision, we just laugh at our preconceived notions of motherhood. Most importantly, we support each other’s choice in knowing that we each have to make the best decision for our own family.
And please keep in mind, stay-at-home moms (I'm talking to myself too), that it is not always a choice for working moms. When Luke (7) was born, I worked for 18 months and cried everyday on my way to work. By the way, he was fine; it was me that was a wreck.
So moms, let’s stop battling and comparing. Instead, let's support and encourage. We are all striving to provide the best for our kiddos. The bottom line is that we want our children to be healthy, happy, and loved.
Now that is something we can agree on!
P.S. A special encouragement to stay at home dads and single moms/dads. Doing things against the flow is never easy. Press on.