Tuesday, August 30, 2011

new

The shift from summer vacation to the first day of school whispered our names.

Although we resisted the early morning rush to get dressed, rapidly eating sweet strawberries and waffles, and stuffing backpacks with lunches, we went with the flow.

It was tempting to stay in our pjs and slowly allow our bodies to accept the daylight streaming in through our windows like we did for the last few short months.

But with the morning grogginess came a whiff of excitement.

Newness beckoned.

New threads head to toe.

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New paths to new classrooms where new friendships wait to be created.

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New experiences of knowledge to discover.

As I gazed at my 3 boys, I felt mixed with emotions.

There is always conflict within my mother's heart.

I desire for them to spread their wings and soar.

And yet, I want to keep them safe within the walls of our nest.

And since this is where we are supposed to be for this year, I am trusting that they will soar high.

For the first time, my 3rd grader, Luke, did not want me to stay with him as he played on the playground while waiting for the school bell to ring. He was also keenly aware of my photo taking and I sense a bit embarrassed since he gave me the "enough already" hand.

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Charlie waited pensively in the kindergarten line. There was a part of me that wanted to whisper in his ear, "we can go home if you'd like."

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But, I didn't. He's ready.

And well, this guy. His swagger said it all.

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He was the most confident of them all. He cruised into his preschool room as if he owned the place. He's that kind of guy.

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I'm wishing each of you a rockin' school year whether is traditional or at home.

Much love,
KatieLinking up for Embrace the Camera.

Friday, August 26, 2011

boys' bedroom make-over

After living here for 2 years, the two younger boys' bedroom is finally complete.

*Insert major sigh of relief.

After some serious spray painting drama, we wrapped up the project (minus super ugly carpet and new baseboards).

Here is what we started with when moved in:

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Um...yeah, that carpet is as ugly as it looks. You'll notice it is still there. If you notice that the paint doesn't go down to the baseboards that's because we're replacing the carpet and getting higher baseboards soon. Yippee!

And here is what we have now:

Walking in on the right side...

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Daddy's glove from long ago...

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This is what you see when you walk in and look straight ahead...

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One of my fav pics from 3 years ago...

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And finally, this is what you see on your left...

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The boys picked their own sports themed bedding and blue paint. I went with it. They are 100% all boy, what can I say?

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It is my no means a large room, but we managed to squeeze in the essentials and reflect the boys' interests. They also have a big walk-in closet which is a major advantage for toy storage.

My guys are happy to have a room in which they had an opinion and I'm happy to finally have 1 more project checked off our home remodeling to-do list.

Much love,
Katie

Linking up with Heather.

it's a God thing weekend link-up

I have had three big doors close for me over the last couple of months.

I was randomly searching on the website for CA teaching jobs and came across a position in my children's district. I thought, "how much more perfect than this would it be than to work where they can go to school with me?"

I applied and didn't think anything of it. After all, there are over 250,000 teachers unemployed in the state of CA alone.

However, I got an interview. I thought, "this is a total God thing."

I shopped for a new outfit, quickly threw my portfolio together, and went to the interview.

I felt a tad rusty. It's been 7 years since I left the profession to stay at home with my boys.

Bottom line is that I didn't get the job.

Sad face.

Also a bit of relief. I don't know if I was really ready to change gears that drastically.

God said, "no."

Then I decided after deliberating over it for a year, that I would do a homeschool hybrid program with Luke (8) and Charlie (5). Super long story short, there was a wait list for 3rd. Then there wasn't. Then there was. It was an office mix up. There always was. We didn't get in due to the stinkin' wait list.

God said "no."

As summer wrapped up today and we spent the day at the beach, in the back of my mind I was consumed with arriving at our local school to find out Charlie's kindergarten teacher. I had several I'd be okay with. One I would not.

Little did I know that there was a new teacher hired.

We didn't get any of the 5 we hoped for. We got the new teacher.

God said "no."

Now I know his teacher will be wonderful, but when you have your heart set on a certain thing and it doesn't work out, it stinks. But, I bounce back. I know it will be fine. I truly believe that.

So in my puddle of disappointments tonight, I'm clinging to this:

Source: etsy.com via Katie on Pinterest



Much love,
Katie

Link-up, let your readers know you're here, come back and visit throughout the weekend, and leave comments for others.


Thursday, August 25, 2011

from misery to magic

There are certain days when I know that I'm going to need every extra ounce of patience to save me from the day ahead.

Today was that day. Every 2 months I decrease my prednisone which I have been on for 8 years since Luke's birth. His birth caused my lupus to go haywire and I've been struggling to wean from the potent drug since. It has saved me and cursed me at the same time. As I decrease, my body revolts. It aches. My brain is foggy. I'm edgy.

It is hard on me, but I don't want it to be hard on my children.

I press on. That's what we do as moms.

As the boys exploded with excitement when Luke's friend came over for a play date, I took a deep breath. I knew the over-excitement would soon break way to tears, fighting, and hurt feelings. The littles don't understand that the big kids want to play by themselves. And while I am prone to an "we all play together" agenda, there are times that I feel the older kids deserve to play with each other without the invasion of the littles.

It's a balance I'm trying to seek.

When it was time to herd my 3 boys + 1 for a swim date, I held my breath again.

I didn't know if they'd switch gears from torment to peace.

They didn't. I spent the time there in frustration and eventually left in defeat.

We arrived home where I swiftly tucked Jack (3) into bed. When he's a mess, everyone is a mess. We go down together as if an anchor is tied to our already sinking boat. Fast.

And to my surprise, I crashed on the couch without even the sensation of sleep waving over me. Before I knew it, it was after 5:00 and I was woken up by Jack poking me. When Jack dramatically threw himself to the floor at the mention of soccer practice, I went with the flow and declared it a soccer ditch day.

Content with the decision, Charlie (5) asked me to go ride scooters with him. It would have been so easy to dismiss him due to the sleepiness and aches, but my gut knew better. Once again, I pushed on.

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For him.

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For me.

For something inexplainable happens when I say "yes." My tank is filled to the brim with joy. My heart aches with contentment. I know that despite the rough start, at the core, the day was not a wreck.

Everyday is a blessing. I needed to seek it and seize it with pure intention.

As we raced scooters, we felt the summer heat radiate from the black road through the soles of our flip flops. My heart was glad.

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This kid has mad pretend skills. He leads. Jack follows. That's way it should be with big brothers and little brothers.

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There were warnings of fire bombs...

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And hot lava.

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As for Luke, he'd rather perfect his tree frog drawing skills.

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Love that kid.

Even this former "my boys will never play with weapons" mama, embraced the Jedi gun and taking on the character of Yoda since he has a green light saber.

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My dudes know green is my favorite color. I rocked it peeps. The force was with me.

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Don't think I'm afraid to take down one of my own. The force is not to be reckoned with, friends.

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I've learned that with boys, I may not get blooming flowers as a token of affection, but being presented with a green light saber is just as sweet.

Just another lesson that it is possible to transform our misery into magic. Kids are good like that.

Much love,
Katie

Linking up with Casey.

*I'd love for you to link up this weekend for it's a God thing!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

hanging on

When Luke started kindergarten, I was not one those anxious moms with tears in my eyes.

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I don't know if it was because I was a former teacher and I knew he'd be fine the minute I returned to my car or if it was because I had two babes in a double stroller screaming to run around the campus, but I walked back to my car confident that he was ready.

On the other hand, I have my Charlie. I thought I would start him a year from now in kinder because he has a summer birthday. However, after researching on google too many nights than I'd care to admit, I know putting him in this year is going to be just fine.

But, I am hanging on to him tightly. I am not ready. I find myself looking at photos over the last five years of his life everyday. I want to remember every stage and every sweet moment and milestone.

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Being in the middle means that when he was 7 months, I found out of was pregnant with Jack.

It means that I was throwing up and feeling rotten for the next 9 months. I wasn't as hands on, fun, and present as I desired.

It means that at 17 months we welcomed Jack into our family and Charlie became a big brother when he was still a babe.

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My hands were full. I wept over the fact that I didn't get the wealth of time that I had with our oldest Luke. He was the only one for 3 years.

I am craving to be with Charlie. I am wishing for more 1-1 time with him. I am craving cuddles and lots of "I love you's".

I am wanting to freeze time.

I want to be the one to hover and protect him from harm all day long.

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But, I know that is not my job.

He's ready. He's excited. He's a big boy now. He's eagerly awaiting this new adventure.

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And I need to be ready and excited for him. I'm trying. Even if it means that I will put on my mama brave face and weep in the car next Monday morning.

Much love,
Katie

Linking up with sweet Jami today.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

girls' getaway

It was my sweet friend, Lexi's, 30th birthday weekend celebration in San Diego. She is a devoted mama to two awesome boys and a wife to a hard working hubby. This was her 1st girls' get away since having her kids 7 years ago.

We began with a stop at Anthropologie. I camera shopped. You know, when you don't have the $$$ to shop so you take pics instead. It is not quite as fulfilling, but it keeps me from impulse shopping.

"I want that."

Click.

"Oh, I Loovvveee that!"

Click.

Problem solved. Hubby still loves me when I come home.

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Red or Aqua...hmmm? Hard decision.

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We had a view of the pool and bay. Across from the bay is beautiful Coronado Island. It is not really an Island, but who's keeping track of accuracy?

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And even though I went to college in San Diego, I still feel the need to take pics of famous signs and architecture that makes me feel like I'm on a movie set. You just don't see brick buildings with bay windows and fire escapes in Southern Cali suburbia.

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*i-phone pics

I hope that if you don't already make it a priority to get away for a girls' night/weekend, that you find a chance to do it soon. It is good for the soul. And for the belly because I know all that laughing is equivalent to 1,000 crunches.

Much love,
Katie


Linking up:

and
Miscellany Monday @ lowercase letters