So much has changed in the last month. Getting the chance to write and edit photos simply cannot be fit in between work and time with my family. I miss having the time throughout the week to sit on my favorite spot on the couch and create words.
Create memory catching records for my 3 boys.
But, I know that this is a time of transition. I can roll with it because change is simply one thing about life that we cannot change, right?
I am learning that with change, you grow. You push yourself beyond what you thought was capable. Change opens your eyes to see your life in a new perspective. Perhaps it isn't new. Rather it was there, but you were so used to what was that you couldn't see it.
Prior to returning to teaching as a long-term substitute for a 4th grade class, I would wake up when the boys woke up. Because I am such a night owl, I would peel my eyes open at 6:30 and sit in a coma on my sofa until I had my morning cup of happy.
However, I now set my alarm and wake up when it is pitch black so I can be in my classroom by 7:00. I pack the boys' lunches and put out their clothes, but Kevin feeds them and takes them to school.
I get to see them throughout the day. Although I want to hug Luke when I spot him lining up with his 3rd grade class, I know better. I just watch him instead while my heart aches a bit for missing my mornings with him.
My classroom is close to Charlie's kindergarten classroom, so once a week I bring my lunch in there while they do math centers.
Fortunately, Jack attends the school's preschool so he's on campus too.
After school they come in and hang out while I work. Some days it works perfectly. Other days, I take away privileges, pack my bag with everything possible that I can do at home, and head out since they are kids and sitting in Mom's classroom after a whole day of school is not easy.
I get it.
When we get home, I grade while they play. We have dinner together. And the former night owl in me now crashes at 8:00 p.m.
Yes, things have changed. I've learned though that life does not have to be one certain way to enjoy it and make it the best life possible. Although I am exhausted and miss the kids, I love my job. I love the process of teaching. I love that each student is such an individual. I love the community of a classroom. I love being with other adults during the day. I love pursuing a passion outside of the home while maintaining my passion for raising my boys.
It is a challenge I will continue to face until summer, but I'm rising up to it as best as possible.
I hope you are rising up today too.