Wednesday, June 6, 2012

big decision

Life rings you up and asks you to make big decisions when you feel the least prepared.

When my friend sent me a text while I was sitting in MOPS last January, I immediately sensed a wave of excitement. I even left early to go home to prepare.

She told me that there was a long-term sub position at the school where my kids attend.

I had been weighing going back to teaching for some time. I can be a grass is greener kind of gal.

I knew that being a long-term sub would provide me the perfect opportunity to get my feet wet again.

My interview was lovely. Truly lovely. How many people can say that about an interview? Meeting with the Principal and Assistant Principal was like have coffee with old friends. Not that it was easy, but it was cordial and pleasant. Kudos to them for knowing how to bring the best out of their applicants.

Walking into a classroom mid-year was a bit challenging, but not nearly as challenging as you might think. Kids have an amazing ability to adjust to new. They are able to embrace new like rock stars. And it was only made better by the fact that I have parent helpers who have become friends rather than just volunteers.

I heart teaching. It is my gig for sure.

However, when a full-time position just became available for next year, I hesitated to apply.

My plan prior to my current position had been to do a hybrid home school program with my boys next year. We are talking about a private charter school (no tuition) where my kids would have art, Spanish, hands-on science, and  activities like karate provided by the YMCA.

Despite the natural inclination to pursue the job, I had a lingering, gut-wrenching feeling that it was not what I was supposed to do.

For one reason.

These guys.

As much as teaching is my gig, these boys are my world. They are still so little and their needs are high.

Time is ticking whether I like it or not and I want to soak up every bit of them before they are taller than me and arguing about curfew. 

Plus, I have to admit that I love the idea of an alternative learning experience. It is something I never thought I'd do, but that is how life works in this casa.

And if it doesn't work, I know we can go back to what we were doing. I'm slowly learning to take risks in life and to not be afraid if those risks fail.

No regrets.

Much love,


Greta said...

Katie, it is so hard to choose between things you love. I admire you for choosing the thing you love best.
Even though it means saying goodbye to another thing you love for now.
No matter what choice you make, it is hard.
I guess that is what life is about.
But life is sweeter when you follow your heart.
God bless as you start your new journey!
Love from,

Joy Kinard said...

Brave Girl. Hooray for you! You will not regret this. Maybe it will work, and maybe you'll see that it doesn't... but the point is you will KNOW and not wonder.

I'm cheering for you!

Julia said...

I am hoping to take part in a charter school too (they are hard to get into here) but my parents have taught me that you take school a year at a time (I was public mostly but homeschooled for a few years). It sounds exciting!

Four Flights said...

I know this must have been a tremendously hard decision for you to have to make, but it sounds like you made the right one. So does this mean you won't be in a sub position next year? And you'll still be able to count this on your resume right, in case down the road you do want to return?

Stephanie said...

Wow, you are amazing and an inspiration to us all Katie. We heart YOU!! You put into words what the rest of us are thinking hence the reason we love reading your blog. I too wrestle with the same decision and then I go back to "but who would do what I do? Who would take my three young boys everywhere they need to be and do homework with them and be there to greet them when they get out of school? The answer is always ME! I need to be with them while they are young as you said. These children are the most important and I believe you made a smart decision you won't regret. Hugs friend.

TDM Wendy said...

Those faces. Oh how sweet.

likeschocolate said...

No one can replace you as a mom, and that is your greatest job of all. You will never regret listening to your heart only if you don't.

Jessica said...

No regrets--you ate so right! Enjoy every extra moment with those precious boys!

Stephanie Mullen said...

You hit the nail on the head, you will be arguing over a curfew before you know it! I am so happy that you and Kevin came to the best decision for your family. You will reap nothing but rewards because of the stronger bond you are going to create with your boys!

Grace said...

I'm happy for you ... and don't worry when the time is right for you to work full time I'm sure a great opportunity will present itself. But for now, as any mom with little ones that has been fortunate enough to be a SAHM, you should embrace every single moment spent with your kids. After all they are little once.
Take care.

christina said...

oh friend! you spoke right to me today!!

I sub as well from time to time and I get asked all the time to sub-long term and I just can't do it. It is so hard to pass up the pay check but at the end of the day I know it was worth it :)

p.s. I bet you are one great teacher!

Susan Liberatore said...

Favorite post EVER.
You know I relate. Last October, I had every intention of going back to work and moving forward as we always had. But something changed.
Ava rocked my world.
I couldn't do it. Not again.
Good for you for realizing where you feel you need to be. Work will ALWAYS be there.

And they're ridiculously cute. Crazy!!!!

Erin said...

I know next year will be an amazing adventure and experience for you and your family. You will never look back and wish you spent less time with your buys. Treasure time.

Karen Fieri said...

I remember that MOPS meeting when Lisa sent you that text. I think this was such a great opportunity for you to test out going back to teaching. You got the best of both worlds this year and now you know, you really know in your heart what your decision is. Had you not given it a try (and completely exhausted yourself doing it) then you would never have known if you should have. I know your family and friends will be happy to have you full time but I'm sure there are parents bummed to not have you as an awesome teacher!

Lissa @ The Looking Glass said...

katie- wow that is such a tough position to be in, but your kids will know when they look back that you put them first. there's no more valuable gift. thanks for sharing!

Charla Liedahl said...

Awesome! What a great perspective you have! A new adventure awaits!

Rachael said...

I haven't been keeping up lately because of pregnancy and having a baby but I am VERY excited to learn more about this alternate learning program. I think it's very important for boys and I can't wait to see how all of you do.