Last night I was venting to Kevin about my stress for today. For today was Luke’s 1st grade field trip to the Wild Animal Park and I signed up to volunteer weeks ago. However, like most of my plans, this event was not going to go as smoothly as I had hoped it would.
If you read my post last week, you know that I have sick kids in the house (yes, they are still sick a week later!). My generous mom volunteered to watch Charlie and Jack so I could be part of this big day for Luke even though she knew they still were not fully recovered from this latest bout of sickness.
So last night, I was pondering what I should do. I didn’t know if I should cancel volunteering and leave Luke’s teacher with one less adult (even though she had plenty) to stay home with the boys. I was equally concerned with Charlie and Jack still not feeling well. And my biggest worry was that my mom would get what they’ve had for the last week. There’s nothing like having someone watch your kids (for free) and then sending them home sick for week! Trust me, it has happened (more than once) and the guilt is overwhelming.
I was vacillating back and forth about which decision to make while Kevin listened patiently. In his mind I am sure I often sound like the teacher in the Charlie Brown movies…wah, wah, wah.
After speed talking and weighing the pros and cons, Kevin calmly interjected, “why do you have to do these things?” I was a bit (okay, a lot) taken aback by his question. I didn’t hesitate to respond with my gut answer, although it was not the least bit eloquent:
BECAUSE I want to see him light up with delight when a butterfly lands on his arm.
BECAUSE I want to put his hand in my usual stroller pushing hand. I know those days are numbered.
BECAUSE I want to see him giggle at the majestic lion sleeping in a jeep.
BECAUSE I want to see him gaze at the giant gorillas.
BECAUSE I am his mom and that’s reason enough.
*Disclaimer for Kevin’s sake: He clarified himself and was wondering why I put myself through so much stress. Men just have a gift of seeing things differently, right?