Wednesday, November 16, 2011

one of a kind

When Luke was 3 1/2 his preschool had a Mother's Day Event. There were art centers, play centers, and a moment when all the children sat on playground in a huge huddle to sing songs for their moms.

All the mother's grouped together, armed with their cameras, and embraced the sweetness.

Except for me.

I sat in anxiousness.

As many of you know, he has Asperger's Syndrome, but it was not diagnosed. I just knew that in social situations he didn't know what to do with himself and I feared what he may do when a large group of moms were all eyes on him.

And as the the other children sang their hearts out, Luke scooted himself to the outer edge of the children and picked up tiny pebbles and threw them.

The entire time, he threw pebbles.

Thankfully he threw them away from the group, but as I sat there crawling out of my own skin and wishing for the kids to finish singing the dang songs, my heart broke.

I just wished for him to be like the other kids.


Six months later, Luke was diagnosed with Asperger's.

As we sat and prepared for his Christmas pageant, I felt the same sense of anxiousness.

The little 4 year olds walked single file down the aisle and my heart pumped quickly.

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They uniformly lined up in their places on the stairs of the chapel at school. My parents and I sat and waved.

Immediately he stated bouncing up down and mouthed, "I have to go to the bathroom."

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I rushed up stage and removed him before the performance started. When we arrived at the bathrooms, he said, "I don't have to go to the bathroom. I just don't want to sing."

So I brought him back to our seats and later cried to my mom, "I'll never get to see him perform like all the other kids." I cursed his diagnosis.

But, I was wrong.

Every year since kindergarten, he had performed just like all the other kids.

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This year, he proved me more wrong than ever as he walked up to the microphone during his class musical.

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Let me tell you. He doesn't have to be just like all the other kids because he is more than that. He is Luke--one of a kind.

And I would not want him any other way.

Much love,
Katie

14 comments:

Rebecca @ heartland farmhouse said...

way to go mr. comma!!!!! rock it!
i was just thinking...i don't know how good mine would do on stage. she'd probably rather be throwing rocks too!

Susan said...

You just know how much I love this post since I can so relate!
I have a one-of-a-kind guy here too. Different but similar. And he would look cute as a button during those Xmas Concerts but would never do or say or sing a thing. It is what it is.
Did he sing?!?!

Charla Liedahl said...

LOVE IT! Way to go, Luke, and way to go, Mama, for enjoying his uniqueness!

Heather @ we.are.the.holdens said...

I love your sensitivity and your realness... You're inspiring Katie... and Luke is inspiring too. The last picture says it all...way to go Luke! :)

Jessica said...

It could be pregnancy hormones, but this post almost made me cry! You are such a loving, supportive mama!

Betsi* said...

Oh, my heart sounderstands your's. I remember (and still occasionally experience) the my-kid-is-"that kid" thing. But they really have amazed us and surprised us, haven't they? They've risen above the expectations and limitations of their diagnosis and become just who God made them to be, awkwardness and all.

Jamie - Snow In December said...

There's so much love in your heart for your special boy!! He is perfect the way God made him. :0)

the cape on the corner said...

what a fabulous outcome! i worked with aspberger's teens for a while, and they never cease to amaze me.

theolivetree said...

oh yeah!!! I think I told you my brother is the same way as Luke...once when I was in college I had to take his pet fish to school for show & tell for my mom...it was soooo sad...he could hardly talk...it looked like he was going to vomit...all I wanted to do was tell his teacher ... don't make him do it...lol...he is 13 now and has come out of his shell majorly!

Melissa said...

Amazing story! Luke sounds like such an amazing boy that won't be held down by a diagnosis. So awesome!

Kelly said...

Oh katie! This such a sweet sweet post. I think one of a kind is just perfect!
xxO

Laurie J said...

oh, yay! one of a kind and wonderful and....I can't wait to read in the years to come what God has in store for him
<3

Jami said...

what a beautiful post. He is perfect just the way he is. xoxo

Janna said...

You should have put a "grab the Kleenex before you read this" disclaimer at the beginning because the tears are flowing right now. THis is SO encouraging. Thank you Katie!!