happy new year!

Hey there, friends!

Can you believe it is the last day of 2011?

Do you have big plans for the night?

We are living it up.

We'll have some sparkling cider for the kids and a little champagne for the grown-ups.

We'll convince ourselves we are going to stay up till midnight.

And crash by 9:00 p.m.

We are c-r-a-z-y, wild animals I tell you.



Much love,
Katie

just because

I love just because days.

When 4 year old Jack asked for tape, I questioned with a certain about of speculation what he needed it for.

"I'm building a castle."

There was a brief moment of hesitation as I pondered the mess involved in castle making, but those thoughts were quickly shut down by images of boys creating.



Creating always slays my mess phobia.



I sat on the floor and listened as Charlie described his pattern making.



I love to see his kindergarten mind working. There is nothing like watching academic learning applied to real life scenarios. As a former teacher, it is those connections that we dream of.



Luke was the shield designer.



And I was one content mama.

*****

After meeting friends for what we call "anything goes" miniature golf where there is no taking turns in order or score keeping. You may even catch a kid or two picking up their balls and putting it in the hole, the boys and I were not ready to go home quite yet. We declared it a "breakfast for lunch" day. Since it was in the afternoon we could not call it brunch so had to come up with a new term.

breakfunch???

lunchast???

We just stuck with the original: breakfast for lunch.

We are straight shooters like that.

Since we're so classy and I could not think of anywhere that served breakfast at lunchtime, we headed here.





We were surrounded by the "mature" crowd and were quite possibly the only ones not eating soup. Just an observation, friends.

And just because we were on a roll, we finished our breakfast for lunch with sundaes.



Heck yeah, we did.




(Jack's clearly sticking with the classy theme)

That's how we roll on just because days.

Much love,
Katie

leaving behind 2011--embracing 2012

As I sit here with my sweet Jack who is taking an afternoon snooze on the sofa, I can't help but to reflect on this last year. With each year since we have had children, I have felt a sense of struggle amidst the overwhelming joy. Some of the struggle has been circumstantial such as wanting to stay home with Luke instead of returning to teaching when he was 9 weeks old, Luke's Asperger's diagnosis at 4, and Kevin's malignant melanoma diagnosis at 30. The ups and downs of my lupus after delivering each of my boys and our financial struggles as we have barely kept afloat to have me at home with the boys have at times felt like an anchor.

Life has a way of pushing us to our limits. But those limits reveal something spectacular. It is through the grind of circumstantial struggle that we find a strength beyond what we ever knew before. Those trying moments are what teach us about ourselves. They help push us to exit the safety of our self-built nest.

We peek over the perch.



Those circumstantial stressors have a way of either giving us the courage to fly from the perch into the vast unknown with an unwavering confidence of our capabilities or we slowly back up, clinging to the branch with each step, as we make our way to the confines of our nest. We are safe, but not at peace.

When we choose to reside in safety, we let fear win.

The thing with circumstantial struggles, is that there is an ending and a beginning.



However, there is a struggle of another kind which is much more binding. Internal insecurities, indecision, and perfectionism are far more weighing on my heart.

As each year wraps up, I ultimately remember the joy. But I'd be lying if I didn't admit that there is a part of me that brings the ball and chain of my internal struggles into each new year.

My hope for 2012 is that I can live without fear and let go of the insecurities. I hope to embrace life for what it is, both the joy and the struggles, and not how it should be. I also want to keep my mind and heart open to new possibilities.

I already feel it coming...the love, the laughter, the blessings of 2012. Thank you for sharing this journey with me. Thank you for your friendship. I never imagined blogging would build the connections that it has. You are part of the joy.



What about you? What is is that you are seeking to embrace in 2012?

I wish you a very Happy New Year filled with love, laughter, and blessings my friends.

Much love,
Katie

redeeming a ho hum Christmas

The Grand Build Up

For the entire month of December, we've been soaking up every ounce of Christmas spirit like it's going out of style. We carried on our traditions: movies, books, decorations, baking, ugly sweater party, baking cranberry bread for our neighbors, and the advent calendar.



And just like every other year, those traditions are the stepping blocks leading to the grand finale of Christmas. We have always celebrated on Christmas Eve on my side of the family. I'm told it is a Scandinavian tradition. You may think it is just a ploy to open presents one day earlier, but I promises it is the real deal.



*****
Christmas Eve

We drove to the beach town of San Clemente to hang with my family. We ate a ham dinner, attended church, and opened presents at my sister's house.







The craziness of 7 kids was actually contained until Jack lost it towards the end. The melt down began and we quickly wrapped up the evening.

We stopped by my parents to pick up our dog. As soon as we parked, their neighbor came out and with our dog howling and barking in the background, informed us that he had been doing that the entire time we were gone. Kevin profusely apolgized, but she would not let up and made it clear that we had ruined her Christmas Eve.

My Fa La La's were drained.

Once we got home, I started to feel withdrawal symptoms from decreasing my prednisone which I've been on for 9 years for my lupus. We put the boys to bed at 10 p.m. and I crashed. My sweet husband had to do Santa duty all by himself this year. Well, Rascal helped too. He's good like that.



*****
Christmas Day

The next morning the boys enthusiastically opened their stockings. It is always my favorite part as they exclaim, "this is what I always wanted!" for each gift. Yes, even socks.





We let them play for a few hours. We've learned to take Christmas morning slow. It is good for all of us.



Later in the day, we headed to Kevin's parent's house. I was so sick, but I didn't want my lupus to interfere with the celebration of the day. I was desperate to get my Fa La La's back and perhaps a few ho, ho, ho's too.



The kids were going on 48 hours of limited sleep and overstimulation. Everyone started to fall apart. I wanted to scream, "This is Christmas! Be good and stop fighting!" However, I didn't think my in-laws or their guests would appreciate it.

Again, we got home and I crashed. I felt guilty that I didn't get to spend any time with Kevin. I know he must have been disappointed, but he is a trooper. He's had to deal with the effects of my lupus for 17 years, but it has never impacted Christmas. He never says a word, though. I love that guy.

I have to admit (and I know this goes against the blogger's creed of all things lovely and perfect), but I was feeling down about Christmas. The ho, ho, ho's I was seeking were more like ho hum, hums.

*****
Redemption

But the next day offered redemption.

The kids spent the morning playing with their new toys without fighting.

Although, I was still feeling like poo (yes I said poo. Crap? Poo?...poo) , but we decide we should head to our favorite hiking spot.



Just the 5 of us.



The day could not have been more perfect.







There is something about being outside together that refuels us.





It brings us together again.









While we headed home, I could not help but to be reminded of true Christmas redemption and the fact that our Christmas--stressful or not, is not classified as good or bad based on feeling well or children behaving.



Much love,
Katie

Add THIS to your goals for 2012

Happy 2012 friends! I have enjoyed reading so many resolutions and goals for this upcoming year. But there is one more goal I hope you add to your list.

As most of you know, my husband was diagnosed with metastatic melanoma at 30. It spread to a lymph node and he needed a year of gruling treatment.


Kevin is lucky. He is almost 4 years cancer free. Don't wait. Get your skin checked and use sunscreen in 2012!

PLEASE take the time to watch this and share with those you love:

Click on THIS.

Much love,
Katie

the pendulum

There are times when my parenting seems to be on the upswing. Without much thought, each day flows relatively uninterrupted into the next.

Even on those upswing days, there are bumps along the way. Perhaps there is a grumpy mama rushing 3 boys to head out the door in time for school or name calling by one or all of my boys, which results in a flood of tears, apologies, and acceptances.

Those upswing days seem to offer a quick recovery from those slight mishaps and we move forward.

But then there are days when the parenting pendulum rebels. It no longer desires to reside in the upswing neighborhood. It hops in the car, switches to reverse, and drives until the sun seems to disappear and it arrives in the dark land of downswing. And in that seedy neighborhood it finds days that run into the next without much joy or appreciating. There is discontent, arguing, and regrets.

When the pendulum lands in the downswing hood, I muscle all the strength that I can find and I wrestle that swinging sucker down to the ground. There's nothing like trapping that dangerous rebel and halting it's harmful effects.

Such as when there are multiple days of stress in the casa de spencer.

Charlie seems particularly sensitive to the shift in the pendulum. He's my pendulum monitor. I read him and know which way it has swung. When he seems to slowly melt down and crumble, it is my duty to turn things around.

After I dropped all 3 boys off at school one particularly emotionally charged morning, I sent a text to Kevin.

"Taking Charlie on a date night tonight."

There's nothing like changing plans in order to be with a little that needs some extra love and time with mom.

I kept it a surprise despite his constant clue begging until we pulled into the bowling alley parking lot.

"Bowling! My favorite!" Charlie exclaimed.



We bowled and I secretly tried to take pics of him with my iPhone because I didn't want this to be about a photo opportunity.



I didn't want a single thing to distract from my attention on him; not even quality photos.





After our game, we headed to his favorite restaurant where he shared some kindergarten gossip and told me his made up version of knock-knock jokes. We even indulged in a warm brownie topped with vanilla ice cream. Date nights always call for dessert.



As we drove home in a quiet minivan, I felt triumphant. The pendulum was back in the upswing, as was my heart--where it belongs.

Much love,
Katie

Linking up with Jami today.

caught

Happy Sunday!

Much love,
Katie

ugly christmas sweater party 2011

We host an Ugly Christmas Sweater Party every year.

Santa is da man.



Santa listens to each child share one kind action they did this year and one toy they'd like for Christmas.







After, Santa hands them a candy cane with the Candy Cane Story attached. Have you heard it before? It is a great way to remind the kids that although we dig Santa, toys, and candy canes; the true meaning of Christmas is about the birth of Jesus.

We have a Christmas ornament and bow hunt.



The kids do crafts and decorate cupcakes.



The grown-ups catch up with each other and compete for Best Dressed.



You can't tell but, she had a bun with a bird in her hair. He has on a women's sweater.

Our friends don't mess around. The competition is fierce.

The kids cheer when they open their new ornaments during the ornament exchange.



It is just one more tradition we look forward to each year. It's one of my favorites that we do. What is your favorite Christmas tradition?

Merry Christmas!

Much love,
Katie

Linking up with Heather.